On Responsibility

As human beings, we are born with a biological program to survive and thrive, at any psychological cost. And after birth, our large brains absorb a lot of new programming provided by our parents, society, teachers, culture, etc.

As the programs have evolved towards optimizing survival and prosperity, human beings are naturally competitive, greedy, lustful, fearful, insecure, sorrowful, aggressive, and so on. To expect a human being to be happy as a default state is to deeply misunderstand the biological and social forces operating within him/her.

As an adult, a human being is a flagrantly parasitical, malicious and sorrowful creature, and uses his large brain to exploit other human beings, and to amplify his malice as well as his sorrow. This malice and sorrow, as part of a human being's survival program, are the deepest core of his being and carry great potency and vitality.

To be responsible for one's psychological states is the first tiny step in the journey towards total freedom from one's in-born humanity. This responsibility means one understands that humanness is a sub-optimal state, that one was not born innocent, that one is not a victim of a corrupt world, that one is not a leaf blowing in the wind, that one is not at the mercy of other people's consideration. This responsibility means one acknowledges that one is naturally a sorrowful, malicious, bored, parasitical, passionate, emotional, needy and selfish creature.

This responsibility means one does not blame one's spouse for the jealousy that one feels, this responsibility means one does not demand another to fulfill one's desires, this responsibility means one does not take out one's anger on other people, this responsibility means one does not rob others for fulfilling one's greed, this responsibility means one does not plead others to be close to one if one is being sorrowful and lonely.

To admit responsibility for one's psychological states is the the first step towards freedom from the blind nature's survival program and from society's many silly dictates. Till then, one is busy changing others, demanding that they fulfill one's wishes and desires, demanding that the universe revolve around them, demanding that others love oneself as one loves oneself, ...

It is not selfishness to not fulfill others' whims and desires. Nobody need be burdened with making anyone else happy. On the other hand, it is the height of selfishness, and a parasitical selfishness to boot, to use others to fulfill one's own desires, and to ask others to pander to one's passions and insecurities.

To admit responsibility for one's psychological states is the first step towards freedom from malice and sorrow.

And this responsibility ends with oneself. "The only person one needs to change, and indeed can change, is oneself."