Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Some Quotes by Byron Katie

"If we hurt someone, we suffer."

This quote, and its corollary - that we shouldn't therefore hurt others - seem profound and a deep spiritual truth.  But if we probe it a little, it becomes obvious that the worldview of this quote is all about myself, and others are merely the supporting cast in the movie that I call "my life".

To hurt others is wrong because it hurts others, not because it would make "me" suffer.

To avoid hurting others because it would make "me" suffer is to regard one's own experiencing as the real criterion of one's behavior.

What about others?  "Oh, that's their problem."

Why not just express the tautology: "If we hurt someone, they suffer"?  Why isn't this enough to impede someone from hurting others?  Probably because the culprit doesn't think of others as much as he should.  The advice should be simply that he should become more empathetic and considerate.  The Byron Katie quote is to manipulate his inherent selfishness to make him behave better.

Ms Katie goes further with her wisdom in the following quote:

"If I think you’re my problem, I’m insane."
    Again, seemingly profound and wildly liberating to anyone who finds expectations and relationships too much to handle. But adapting this can only lead to the self abiding in itself with no meaningful relationship to anyone else.

    Relationships are built upon expectations and on synergy. At times, this synergy will be found lacking. In those times, to not focus on the relationship (which is to focus both on oneself and the other) but to retreat into oneself ("I will not deal with anyone else's problems, not my job.") is a recipe for spiritual upliftment but a total failure in one's relationship.

    Of course, if always it is one person who is trying to build synergy which is undermined by the other, then perhaps the relationship is somewhat doomed.

    "When I walk into a room, I know that everyone in it loves me. I just don’t expect them to realize it yet."
    Therapeutic nonsense is so beautiful at times. And so silly.


    Anonymous said...

    I love the word synergy. Kids are afterall the products (and not sums) of thier parents!

    Anonymous said...

    "If we hurt someone, we suffer." A fact of human nature, prone to extinguishment in cases.