Rising Above the Past

It is a common but a "loserthink" habit to blame one's childhood or one's past for one's bad behavior in the present.

I know three people: a man, his wife and his brother, all of who had less than ideal childhoods.  The man spent his childhood in relative deprivation, doing odd and sometimes menial jobs.  The woman spent her childhood away from her home, with a horrible aunt who was mean and vile.  The man's brother, like the man himself, had a similarly deprived childhood and perhaps took on even more responsibilities than the man himself during their mutual childhood.

The man grew up to be a bitter, insecure, selfish (almost narcissistic) individual.  The wife turend out to be a gentle, meek and un-assertive woman in her adulthood.  And the man's brother became a happy-go-lucky, jovial and living-in-the-present kind of man.

All of them spoke of their childhood with hurt and pain.  But they all became different kinds of people.

You will find it everywhere.  People go through the same circumstances and turn out to be very different in character and personality.

Our childhoods are mostly spent in relative unconsciousness and un-self-awareness.  As adults, we have a responsibility to be self-aware, to strive to be better, and to try and transcend our past.

Carrying the wounds of the past is perhaps inevitable, but I believe many of us can choose to live a better life despite those wounds.  We need not consider the implications of those wounds as inevitable and inviolate.  

We can learn from those wounds, and choose not to inflict similar wounds on others.  We can be better than many others who may not have had those opportunities of learning.

Some experiences are too traumatic, but most experiences, if one is willing and reflective, are springboards to a higher level of consciousness and sensitivity.