tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7037385.post6280578308607123777..comments2024-03-04T22:54:13.447+05:30Comments on Remains of the Day: On JudgmentUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7037385.post-64431195718938962202009-04-13T14:29:00.000+05:302009-04-13T14:29:00.000+05:30I found this to be a very interesting post indeed....I found this to be a very interesting post indeed. I had tried articulating some of these thoughts in order to explain to myself and to some others as to what constitutes 'being judgmental' because it's easy to sense that one is being judged but harder to figure out when one is being judgmental. It never fails to amaze me to see how most of us are so finely tuned to sense the former and completely oblivious to the latter. I think I will have others refer to this post in the future. <BR/><BR/>Btw, it reminded me of some of our discussions along the line not too long ago :-)Swatinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7037385.post-88281340263611049432009-04-10T14:45:00.000+05:302009-04-10T14:45:00.000+05:30“People don't like being judged”- Because most jud...“People don't like being judged”<BR/><BR/>- Because most judgments are not objective analyses which help in growth of the person being judged or provides a feedback to reflect upon. Most judgments are: a. subjective opinions based on what observer thinks is the standard practice( for example cultural, social in nature) and the person being scrutinized an aberration, b. subjective assumptions about a person based on, often, momentary behaviour or articulations, c. conclusions which are prescribed to the person being judged. <BR/><BR/>However, Observations and feedback which is done for the purpose, lets say, to learn about human behaviour in general or to help someone with an issue is another matter al together. <BR/>Of course intentions of the observer will matter a great deal and infact decide the validity of the judgment itself. <BR/><BR/>When judgments are done in public by social groups, they are often based on not meeting the expectations of the group. In this case, the control for conformity is greater. For example, a person who wears skimpy dresses in a repressive society may be judged as someone with loose morals and may be stamped as a threat. <BR/><BR/>When judgements are done in a smaller group or between people who know each other, they can be a form of control too, albeit a milder one.<BR/><BR/>Husband may be making this judgments because ‘he wants’ the wife to participate in socializing instead of listening to music, because ‘he’ thinks so. Sharing of value system for verifying and finding a better model or learning from each other for self-improvement is an ideal reason for letting someone judge you, but one will have to be attentive towards the intentions, for sure.<BR/><BR/>Please find some time to articulate your views or observations about " on being judged" as well. I suggest you write a parallel post on the blog instead of merely replying in a discussion here. <BR/><BR/>bestdadi ma ke kissey kahaninoreply@blogger.com